To the Thrift Store and Back

Yesterday, I took a big step backward in order to step forward. I went to the local thrift store, donated a bag of clothing, and then proceeded to shop its aisles for junk to take home.

I got several Christmas ornaments, some art supplies and a bunch of flat baskets with dividers - all for the preschool I'm slated to teach this fall. I'm planning to work a lot with centers that go beyond toys and dolls. I need all kinds of manipulatives, puzzles, containers, art supplies; you name it.



I won't buy everything, though. I refuse to do that on the salary I'll be making. I'm going to scrounge around all the child resource organizations in town to see what I can come up with. I'm also going to put the word out that I'm looking for donations. I'll work this out.

The reason it's on my mind is because it's bringing up an old frustration: it takes money to do things right.

I like to do things right. I hate doing things half-assed, especially when I'm in the public eye. If I'm going to teach a preschool, it's going to be the best damn preschool in town. Know what I mean?

But I could probably spend as much as I'll earn next year if I was going to get it just the way I want it. I can't do that, obviously, so I'll have to find another way.

This issue goes to the heart of everything I'm doing this year: it's not enough to "halve it all". You have to improve life - or whatever it is your doing - in the process. You can't just minimize things until they fade to nothing. There has to be a point.

I guess as far as the preschool is concerned, the point is that I need my income in order to fund the rest of my life. I have to find a happy balance, a way to save money but still create the experience I want to give to these kids.

Off I go to search for donations....

Hard Choices

I can't afford everything I want right now.

That's a scary sentence, isn't it? Try saying it out loud: I can't afford everything I want right now.

Did you do it? Did you say it out loud? Or did you make a face, jump over that sentence quickly and move right along, hoping to get to another topic? Did you feel that if you said it out loud, it might make it come true - more true than it is already?

I feel that way - superstitious about money. But on the other hand, I also feel a tiny bit freer every time I tell the truth about it: I can't afford everything I want right now. The thing about the truth is that it anchors you in the present, while leaving room for future possibilities. I can't afford everything I want...right now. But that doesn't mean that over the course of my life I won't experience most things I'd like to experience.

For the last few years my parents have been paying for music lessons and karate for my kids. It's been wonderful, but a month or so ago my father let me know ever-so-subtly that they need to cut back. I immediately told the kids so they could be prepared: next fall everyone gets one activity - that's it.

Yesterday, reality set in. My oldest son plays violin, drums, baritone and piano. He takes lessons for violin and piano. We rent the piano. My son thought he had formulated a good plan; he'd drop piano lessons and continue his studies of the instrument on his own. After all, he knew the basics already.

He'd forgotten all about the cost of the piano.

"We can only put our first four months' rent toward purchasing it," I told my son. "We have to decide right now whether to buy it or not. I can purchase it out of savings, but we'll have to pay that money back."

The piano costs $1050. We've paid $200 toward it already. I could put another $200 or so toward the cost out of money I've put aside toward activities. My son would need to come up with the other $650.00.

I sat with my son while he worked it out. I could tell he wanted me to come up with another source for the money. He wanted me to take care of it for him, and I wanted to take care of it for him, too. Every mommy fiber in my body was crying out, "It's a piano, for God's sake! How can you not buy your kid a piano!?!"

But you know what? I can't afford everything I want right now...not even for my kids.

So I sat, and I breathed, and I told myself - my kid can have that piano if it's what he really wants. He's paid off large purchases before and he can do it again. If he got an after-school job he could pay it off in a matter of weeks. Still, I wanted so badly to intervene and just buy the darn thing and hand it to him.

After a couple of minutes my son said, "I don't think we should buy it. I think I should concentrate on my violin. There are other things I want to spend my money on more than a piano. I started taking lessons because I thought I needed piano to get into music school, but I've decided I'm not making a career of music, anyway."

Not the answer I expected, but a well-thought-out answer nonetheless. I'm happy to report that the decision doesn't seem to have caused him to lose any sleep. He's bright and cheerful today. I'm still having plenty of qualms. How do I not buy the piano? Surely we have the money for a piano! It's hard to let my child learn these lessons. It's hard to let myself learn them, too. It's very freeing, though, to speak the truth:

My son could buy that piano if he really wanted it. Heck, I could buy that piano if I really wanted to.

Obviously, the piano is not really that important, after all.

The Results!

What....you were hoping for a miracle? Did you really think I could halve a child's possessions in one day?

Not a seven-year-old's. I did get two bags of trash out of there. Another bag is off to GoodWill, I emtied a nice storage bin I can use elsewhere in the house, and the rest is being put in storage for a couple of months to see if dd "misses" them. Here's a pic of all the stuff I took out of the room:









I have learned not to stress as much about these years when kids have a ton of tiny toys. Yes, they're a pain to pick up, but each of my older boys has reached a day when they were simply done with all of it, and...boom...they emptied out their rooms.

Since I can fit all of dd's stuff into containers in her room, I'm willing to live with it for another year or two.

Here are the "after" pics of her room:

Today's Chore

I can't put it off any longer. Today I have to tackle my youngest child's room:







You'd never let your child's room look like this, would you? I'm sure everyone is now shocked and appalled by the state of things at the "Halving It All" household, but I promise - soon....like in a month....I'll post pictures of this room that will astound you with their cleanliness and empty spaces. In fact, you will actually be able to see the floor!

Really. It's true.

Halving the Kids' Stuff

My youngest son lives in a cave. Well, almost. His current room is tiny and has no windows. Next month he'll move upstairs to a bigger/better room. Here is a before picture. Not too much stuff, but he's got several boxes of junk hiding under the bed that he hasn't looked into for at least six months. We'll delve into those and clean them out.
















Notice the winter clothes that need to be swapped for the summer ones in his dresser. Notice also dear son crawling under the bed to find out what's in the box that's been jammed into the back corner FOREVER.



Here's the bag of trash we took out of the room. We also went through his clothes, weeded out the too-small stuff for Goodwill, and put away the summer clothes. No more boxes under the bed. The dresser drawers can all open and shut. Everything has a place. Aaaaaaah. Much better.

Getting the Kids Involved

Today I broached the subject of doing without the car. My family handled it well - in fact they were downright enthusiastic. We decided that we will be fanatical about it for a month, and then settle into a reasonable routine. From August 17th through September 16th we won't use the car at all. That gives me a day right after we get home from our vacation to stock up on food - we'll have been gone for two months - and then we'll relax the restrictions a bit when all the kids' activities start up in late September.

I don't intend to go back to our regular car usage even then, though - I hope we'll still mostly walk or ride bikes everywhere. Unfortunately, there are a few activities we just can't get to without a vehicle - guitar lessons being at the top of the list. Anyway, I think cutting our gas costs in half while probably quadrupling our exercise is a reasonable goal. If we cut back even further - great.

The kids' enthusiasm for this experiment really pleased me. They are very environmentally conscious and they love crazy schemes so I wasn't surprised by their reaction. Still, it's nice that they got on board with the plan with so little fuss. In fact, they were all for it.

And they'd like to take it farther. My oldest son has been reading Better Off, the book about a couple who spend a year living among an Amish community. Now he wants to buy an old-fashioned wringer washer machine. He and his brother swear they'd do all the laundry if I bought one, even after I described in excruciating detail just how time-consuming it would be. I don't think we'll go that far, but just for kicks I did look them up.

They do still exist, although they are generally about 60 years old. Do a google search and you'll find lots of them on craigslist and ebay. It looks like they're having a bit of a renaissance now that the frugal crowd has discovered them. They should save you money (plus provide a workout). Still, I'm going to hold off for now. There are other ways to save on laundry. We'll talk about them next time.