On days like today my life feels very full. I spent the morning with five other women friends at a kind of women's retreat we do yearly. We gather together and spend several hours constructing collages of our hopes for the coming year. I am always amazed by the creativity and insight these women possess and now that we've done it three years in a row I am blown away by the journey we seem to be on together, too.
This is the first year I've been clear enough in my head and heart to really show up for the event and I attribute that to the halving journey I've been on for the last six or so months.
Although some days I feel like I'm not making any progress, days like this show me just how far I've come. I have the time to spend a whole day on "selfish" pursuits. I have the materials I need. I have enough organization in my life to be able to prepare without panic. I have enough clarity about my inner workings to be able to project a year's worth of themes onto a canvas.
What an amazing discovery.
This is what I want from my halved/doubled life - real experiences with real people that involve talking, creating, doing and planning. Experiences that leave me refreshed and ready for my work.
What popped up at me out of today's creative endeavor? That I'm missing what's right in front of my face. It's time to allow my children and my husband to accompany me on this flight of fancy. I need to talk to them about my hopes and plans. I need to stop squirreling away my ideas for when I'm alone. I'm strong enough not to be swayed by their opinions and emotions. I'm safe among them.
That's how far I've come. I can speak my truths out loud.