Friday, August 22, 2008

It Feels Great

Dh drove off this morning with 14 large black garbage bags full of stuff for Goodwill. I was happy to see them go; they were clogging up my room and making it feel like I hadn't gotten anywhere. Now I have a little more room to breathe.

I'm also hitting a kind of mid-purge stride. I've tackled some of the harder hordes of possessions; clothes, shoes, books. But there's a long way to go, still. I'm not up today for 10 hours of cleaning. So I'm setting a smaller goal; one set of cabinets downstairs that shouldn't really be holding anything.

It's day five of my month without my car, and I'm doing all right. I've had to explain to a few people why I couldn't drop everything, hop in my van, and be there RIGHT NOW, but contrary to my fears, everyone is getting it.

"Good for you!" I keep hearing. That's helpful!

Today I walked downtown with my 7 year old dd to pick up her first violin. It took me nearly the entire walk there to clear all the thoughts out of my head and begin to listen to her chatter, but by the time we were walking back I'd hit a more zen place. I was present. And I enjoyed the sights along our walk, everyone's smile when they saw my small daughter swinging her new violin in its case, and really listening to what dd had to say to me. For her, a walk with mommy is a special treat. I basked in her love and the gratitude she felt simply for getting a little of my attention. What is more precious than that?

Tonight we're going to a friends house for dinner - all six of us - and we'll be walking there, too. It's probably a forty-five minute walk, and I'm a little anxious, but I bet it will become a special memory, too. How many times has my family walked home from a dinner party as the sun has gone down? Too few, I guarantee it.

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